7 Ways to Grow Up Happily

Posted by RJ Licata | July 8, 2010

This post is part of what we call the ‘Growing Up Series’. As is the theme of the Peter Pan Fan Club, the article series focuses on helping readers grow up without growing old. The Growing Up Series will continue for as long as the ideas keep coming to us. You can find the entire collection listed on the Growing Up page. If you have any ideas for articles that we should write for this series fill out the contact form.

If our parents are any proof of what’s to come, it’s inevitable that we will get older. It’s an unfortunate part of life. Actually, it sucks. However, as is the case with most things, what happens to us only accounts for a small portion of our lives. The bigger portion comes from our deciding how we will respond. As the saying goes, you’re only as old as you feel.

This is good news, though, because it means we have some control over our lives. We can slow the aging process mentally, which impacts our physical bodies as well. When that happens, when we decide to act and think young thoughts, we will feel more comfortable enjoying ourselves. It’s ok to have fun, even when you’re an adult. Happiness is a choice, but it’s up to you to make that decision.

Luckily for you, I took the liberty of starting you off with seven ways you can grow up happily. The great thing about this list is your current age doesn’t matter. We are always growing up, so whether you’re twenty-two and fresh out of college or sixty-two and eyeballing retirement, including these seven ideas in your life will make you happier all-around.

1. Find a Hobby

If you don’t have one already, a hobby is something you really need to find. Having something to look forward to, and a way to decompress and relax, is very important in staying stress-free and happy. There are thousands of things you can learn, you just have to find what interests you and see what kinds of activities are available in that niche.

To begin looking for the right hobby for you, think about the things you enjoy. If you really like music, maybe you want to try learning a new instrument. If you like strategizing, maybe you want to take up poker. No matter how old, or young, you are, today is always a good time to pick up some new skill.

If you’re having trouble thinking of a hobby to try out, Not So Boring Life has a list of more than 200 hobbies to get you started.

2. Stay in Touch With Friends

One of the hardest parts of getting older is the distancing of friendships. If you think about it, in high school you see your friends everyday. In college you live with them. Then, when that ends, you go on to real life, where everyone pretty much does their own thing. Yet another thing that sucks about growing up.

The truth is, those relationships will change as time goes on, but they don’t have to end. It’s up to you and them to make sure you continue staying in touch. And really, with the social networking landscape the way it is these days, how hard is it to check in once in a while? I have more trouble avoiding the people I don’t want to talk to, than I do keeping up with those I want to chat with.

After I finished college, one of my friends organized a weekend campout/party at his house and it became a yearly tradition. It lasted three years before weddings and children interferred. I need to take my own advice and rekindle it, because it was a great way for us all to maintain our close friendships.

Take the time to drop a line to the friends you haven’t spoken with in a while. If location allows, set aside an afternoon to meet up for lunch, or schedule a weekend months in advance where you can all go camping together. However you want to do it, make sure to keep your friendships fresh, because those relationships will keep you feeling young and happy.

3. Make Your Job Something You Enjoy

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”
-Confucius

There’s nothing that makes you hate growing up more than having to drag your feet to a job you hate. Even though we don’t really think so at the time, college is paradise compared to working a full-time job you can’t stand going to. That’s why it’s so important that you do whatever it takes to find something you love and make that work.

In a perfect world, we’d all make careers out of our hobbies. This is easier said than done, but it is possible if you work at it. Finding a way to get paid and support yourself and family while doing what makes you happy is something we should all strive for.

The best part about this concept is everyday people are proving it’s a realistic dream by getting paid to do what they love. I don’t know for sure, but I’d be willing to bet if you surveyed their overall happiness they’d be much happier as a whole than their counterparts who are working jobs they despise.

4. Have a Plan

To paraphrase the Chesire Cat from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, “if you don’t know where you’re going it doesn’t matter which way you go.” Unfortunately not having a plan leads to a lot of frustration when you decide you want to go somewhere.

In order to move forward and feel as though you’re accomplishing something, you need to know what it is you want to accomplish, a destination. The most effective way to do this is to set goals for yourself. Personal and professional goals should both be determined and written out. Doing so will help you process them and will hold you accountable for reaching them.

Take the time to decide what you want from life and focus your energy on getting it. As your responsibilities increase, this will become more and more important. Without having a plan it becomes easy to go through the motions and avoid testing yourself. If you really want to be happy despite growing up, you have to create it on your own. It starts with knowing what will make you feel that way.

5. Challenge Yourself

The minute you allow yourself to become comfortable is when you start getting old. Don’t put yourself through this. Instead focus on taking on the next challenge, then the next, and so on. Continuous growth in a direction that will help you accomplish your plan is a key to feeling relevant. As soon as complacency sets in, you start to become a dinosaur. If you stay this way long enough, you’ll believe it and others will treat you that way.

Working hand in hand with having a hobby and a plan, this tip will keep you moving and progressing. Think of the person who trains and completes a triathlon when they’re in their fifties. There is no reason for them to do this other than to challenge their mind and body. An achievement like this is refreshing, though, and they will leave with a new respect for what they are capable of accomplishing.

Staying young is about finding purpose and enjoyment in the things you do. When you start to think of yourself as old, you limit what you’re capable of. You can avoid this by testing yourself everyday.

6. Continue Learning

If you’ve ever witnessed a young child learn or see something for the first time and the excitement on their face as they did, you’ll understand why continued learning is a key to staying young. Realize that no matter how long you’ve been around and how much you’ve already accomplished there are always new mysteries to understand and new things to learn.

Every time you learn something new you’ll feel just like that child who saw it for the first time. The world is a fascinating place, with much to take in and enjoy. Take advantage of any opportunity you get to have a new experience, and if those opportunities don’t jump out at you, create them on your own. Probably the greatest way to do this is to get yourself a library card. It will open up an endless vault of new learning and it doesn’t cost a dime.

Before you cringe thinking about all this new learning as if you’re going back to school all over again, keep in mind you can focus your learning on anything you want. There’s no need to waste your time with something that doesn’t interest you. Put your energy into studying something that you have a passion for. Then it won’t feel like such a chore, and you’ll probably end up enjoying it.

7. Avoid Old Thoughts

I cringe everytime I hear someone say, “I’m too old to do that.” Even I have a tendency to comment on how I’m “not as young as I used to be.” Technically speaking, you’re never as young as you used to be, but there’s no reason why that should limit what you’re able to do.

Be honest with yourself. The real reason you can’t run a mile or climb that tree isn’t because you’ve gotten older, it’s because you’ve gotten lazier. When you were young you did those things everyday which kept you in good shape. Now, you’ve gotten in bad habits, or have fallen victim to grown up responsibilities which have limited the time you have to practice your running and climbing skills.

The minute you tell yourself you’re too old to do something, you are. If you say it enough, it will become nearly impossible to go back. Don’t be afraid to go against common thought about what is age appropriate. If you want to do something do it. Tell yourself you can do it and that you will do it. Being “too old” is a disguise for a fear of failure.

When you were young, you didn’t think twice about trying something. You just did it. And if you weren’t successful, you tried again until you were. Don’t let an adult world take your hope away from you, because once it does, getting part of it back is difficult, and getting it back entirely is nearly impossible.

Growing Up is Inevitable, Doing it Happily is a Choice

No matter how hard you try to stop or slow the process, you will get older. No amount of cosmetics can change the fact that you are aging. The fact that this is happening is beyond our control, however, the attitude we approach it with is well within our reach.

The point I’m trying to make, which I hope is becoming clearer, is there is a direct connection between happiness and youthfulness. Feeling younger and more energetic is a byproduct of being happy.

Or, maybe it’s the other way around.

Either way, this chicken-or-the-egg cause and effect scenario can be life changing if you can apply it to your life. Find a way to stay young, in your mind and in your actions and happiness will follow.